Warning: This entry is a total pity party. You don't have to come. :)
This is the picture I added to my facebook page yesterday and sometimes it's just how I feel. This bed rest thing isn't always easy! I remember thinking back in August how wonderful it would be if I could go on bedrest. I pictured myself taking leisurely trips to Target, strolling through the baby aisles sipping whole milk. I imagined myself sitting in the nursery with my perfect little belly folding up little boy clothes and putting them away. I remember a friend of mine saying to me "If you get put on bed rest I think you'd be way too bored." I thought she was crazy. But...here I am...2 weeks into it, and it's not always fun! The dreams I held in my head of what these days would look like aren't quite how they always are. My hair is totally disheveled and looks like I have never owned a hairbrush, my hips ache from laying down in this bed all day, and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself! I have mounds of things around me that I could work on or watch or read, but sometimes I don't want to do any of it! Sometimes I just want to run around the house and scream!I feel bad because dear friends and family call and I don't want to call them back because I'm in a mood and they don't need to hear me complaining over the phone.
I need to suck it up! I know that it won't last forever, and I also know how important this is! Every time I feel the boys move I am reminded about the job I'm doing and why I'm doing it - it's just not as fun as the first half of the pregnancy was. :)
Alright, that's the end of my venting session. Sorry. I might as well be honest though right? Chris has been amazing - truly. I don't know what I'd do without him. His skinny little self (everyone looks so stinkin' skinny!) just left to go to a football game with some of his friends tonight. He told me that he was craving some Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. As I laid here in bed all sprawled out I gave him the look of death and told him to have a wonderful time. It was dripping with a bit of sarcasm. :) He reminded me that tomorrow he was going to be painting the nursery all day, and the look on my face instantly changed!
Now it's time for a shower and dinner. Those two things always cheer me up.
How incredibly worth it all of this will be in just a few short months!
10 comments:
I think about you every day - so sorry that you are laid up, but at least your babies are healthy and inside right now! And...fortunately these are the first babies so you don't have to try to take care of other kids while you have to stay off your feet.
you just go girl...you can have a pity party all you want, I'll listen...!
You TOTALLY have a right to have a pity party!
Everything you mentioned in your post is almost the exact thing that I experienced. The first couple of weeks were very hard as your life goes from running how it usually does to a complete halt (especially as a teacher!) I too had a huge list of things I wanted to do since I had so much time do it. I didn't accomplish much during my bed rest.
I definitely shut people out (not saying thats what you are doing) as I felt like I didn't have anything new to offer to a conversation and couldn't really do anything other than just lay there. I did go out every so often but not much.
The holidays definitely made it harder. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of the decorations and to not be able to go out was hard.
All of your feelings are completely understandable and valid. It sounds like you have a great family and support system there. Make sure you ask them specific things that you would like from them as I am sure they don't really know how to help out!
One week down, one week closer!
When I talked to you today I thought I heard a little sadness from you. I'm so sorry you are a bit blue beth, but you have to remember how this time will be fast forgotten in just a couple of months now. Please call me anytime to talk or cry if you want. I'm forever here for you
Love DAD
Oh, little Bethy! I'm so sorry. I know this must be hard for you. You are such an outgoing, social person, it just makes sense that being stuck at home in bed would be maddening! You are such a trooper! Love you so much...call anytime!
I am sure it's hard to always be positive while you are "stuck in bed". It's good that you are reminded of the importance of what you are doing every time the boys move. How wonderful that you are renewed with energy and motivation. I'll pray they move a lot more, except at night.
I am so glad to see you open up about your sadness and inability to do all the things you had expected to do during your pregnancy. Speaking honestly about your feelings will help diffuse some of the frustration you are feeling. When our expectations are dashed, it does make us sad, mad, disappointed and all those things that go along with
being just plain miserable. So you just have a "pity party" anytime you want. I know you understand intellectually why you are having to rest...I know you love these babies with all your heart...I know you wish you could go out and have some buffalo wings...stroll the aisles of Target...and enjoy what are normal everyday activities. But the title of your blog says it all..."It can only be called a miracle". Your "Bed Rest Blues" blog is good for us to hear as it helps us understand what you are going through during this journey. And believe me, we all understand that it has nothing to do with the absolute, total, unconditional love you have for the little ones.
God bless you, Beth as you progress day to day.
With all my love and prayers to you,
Mom H.
Beth... I LOVE your honesty!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!! And isn't it funny, how when you're pregnant, everyone else in the world looks like little toothpicks!! HAAA
I think about you a lot!!!
Hi Beth, Grandmother Hardesty (my mom)used to say "nothing stays the same" and I used to hear it thinking quickly "yeah, I guess that's a true statement" and I went on about my business, not giving it much more thought. As I have gotten older AND OLDER I see changes all the time. Where I'm going with this is that this necessity for "bed rest" has made you feel slowed to 2 mph and also captive to the prone position, but...................keep your head up proud and high, the clock IS ticking and pages are flipping off the calender at the same rate as before--"nothing (including this slow time) stays the same"! Love Dad H., P.S. the same message to Roscoe. > for those who don't know, sometimes I call Chris Roscoe.
Beth, I guess I am that friend that warned you that you didn't want bed rest. Shame on me. I am so glad to see that you are letting out your frustrations. Pregnancy is another step in life of figuring out who you are. CRAZY!!! You will figure it all out. It just stinks that you have to be in bed while going through it all. I admire your determination. You are stronger than me!!! I would love to call you but I don't want to make things worse. So just look at it this way. Keep fatten up for your beautiful pregnancy pics. I will try to position Chris so he looks fatter!!! How about that?????
Post a Comment