The End of an Era

I'm doing it! It's official! We are moving folks!

I'm a bit teary ending this blog and moving forward, but our family just isn't two little boys anymore...we now have a third child coming in to the picture and I just think that Little Boopshin needs to be included in on the action to!

I suppose I could just change up this blog and start fresh here - but I just don't want to touch a thing on here! I love the little sidebar pictures that documented the entire twin pregnancy, the title that will always remind me of the miracle that my sons are, and the story of their first year of life...

It's been a good ride, and the fun is just beginning!

So come along with me...

the new blog address is

http://www.lovingonyou.blogspot.com/

and if you come and visit you may just find out a little secret!!

Loved

My Grandmother passed on to eternity yesterday morning.
She was 88 years old.
She was in the presence of her three daughters.
In her last moments of life her face was radiant. There was a smile that Mom said went above all earthly joy. She was looking beyond anything in the room and ahhhing over whatever it was she was seeing. She told my aunts and my Mom that she was seeing my Grandpa (her husband), her Mom, her Dad, and her sisters who had all gone before her. A few minutes later, she was gone.

Oh, words can't express how much she will be missed. How life doesn't seem like it can return to normal without her...

I still imagine that I will go home to visit her and see her in her kitchen window welcoming us to her house.

Following is a letter that I wrote to her last week. I struggle so much with the right words to try and describe this incredible lady in my life.

My Dearest Dramamine,

How often thoughts of you flood my mind. I hope you know that even though my life has pulled me far from you with the responsibilities of my life, my heart is so often there with you in that room. I wish I were closer to hold your hand, to read to you, to talk with you and brush your hair like everyone closer is having the opportunity to do.

At various moments it strikes me that this is really happening to you. To MY Grandma. It doesn't seem real, and sometimes the sadness of it is just too much. I can't imagine life without you...I don't want to imagine life without you. It hurts me to think about coming home and not having you there to go and visit. It was always something I looked so forward to on every trip home was to go and see my Dramamine.

You have always been such a huge, active part of my life. From the time when I was 8 and moved in to your home with you, you have been our closest neighbor, additional mother, babysitter, and friend.

When I think back on my lifetime with you, it is filled with thoughts of your guidance, your wisdom, and your insights on the way that things were going in my life and which were good in your eyes, and which could be changed (like when you asked me when in the world I was going to break up with that Jon boy!).

I love so many things about you.

I admire so many things about you.

You are a beautiful woman. A true definition of what a lady should be and how she should carry herself. You have taught me so many things about being a wife, being a mother, a daughter, a person. I have big shoes to fill when I think about trying to mold my life after the one that you have led and lived.

You will be leaving a beautiful legacy behind when it is your time to go.

You are leaving a family behind that adores you, cherishes you, loves you, and honors you. Just as you have deserved and earned!

You have done so amazingly good Grandma.

I am thankful beyond words for being blessed in such an amazing way by being born in to this family. A family that you and Grandpa nurtured, molded, and raised. You have done an amazing job. I know along the way there were certainly times where you had hardships, times where you may have questioned if you did the right thing, said the right thing, acted the right way...

But when I look at your six children. When I look at the way that they passionately love their mother. The way they flock to your bedside and care for you...I know that you have succeeded in mothering them. And it goes so much deeper than that. Every one of your children, and your grandchildren, and your great-grandchildren, have watched the example that you have led. The importance that your relationship with Jesus played in your life, and how He guided your every step along the way. You have lived your life in such a beautiful way, always showing the true heart of our Father.

It is easy for me to regret so many things when I think back on my years of living so close to you. How often I took for granted the fact that you lived just a few miles away. How often did I lay snoozing in bed while you were over for morning coffee, how often did I take for granted the sight of your blue car pulling up in our driveway and one of us announcing "Grandma's here!" How often did I take for granted pulling up in your driveway and seeing you there tending to your tulips, your green gardening shorts on and your gardening shoes with holes in the toes.

I am sorry Grandma for being young, for being selfish.

I hope that you have always known how much I loved and treasured you. I do. You mean so much to me and you always will.

My children will know about you. They will know about the life that you have led, they will know about the way that you carried and conducted yourself, they will know about all that you held of value and importance in your life. We will sing hymns that you sang, we will say prayers that you prayed, and they will be raised in such a way that would make you and Grandpa proud.

I love you sweet, sweet Dramamine.

Beth

My Grandpa sitting on the running board of his car on their honeymoon. June 1942.

The family around 1973 with my Great Grandpa and Great Grandma. Grandma is infront with the red and white stripe shirt. My Mom is on her right.


She has always been stunning.

Grandma and a friend on the front yard at Signora's place, mostlikely the summer of 1942, shortly after Grandpa and Grandma were married.

For the record...I am not a cow

Things are truckin' along over here in baby heaven. I am 16 weeks along and this pregnancy is just flying by! I guess that's the way it goes when you have two little 15 month old munchkins to chase after at the same time!

I went for a check-up this past Tuesday morning. Our little Babe is looking so fine and dandy in there! He/She was flipping all over the place and completely not cooperating for any good pictures for me to share with you. Their little rump was up in the air and they had their face buried down so we didn't get to see it. This little one has a beautiful little spine though, that much I can say for sure!

The heart rate was beating strong at 146 beats per minute. I don't think I could ever, ever get tired of seeing that precious little heart just beating away, or seeing that precious little body just flipping and kicking all over the place. Just amazing.

Chris and I are still going back and forth about if we're going to find out the sex or not (early I mean. I think we'd find out the sex eventually either way...just sayin). I think we are both leaning towards finding out, so that is most likely what is going to happen....but I just can't commit yet at this point.

Okay, so, the reason for my title:

Last week I started weekly injections of progesterone. This shot will be given to me to prevent pre-term labor. It is most likely that I went in to labor 6 weeks early with the boys because my body was carrying two of them, over 10 pounds of baby, and it just didn't feel like doing it one.more.day - but there is no way of knowing for sure that it wouldn't happen again with this pregnancy....so, shots it is.

Instead of running myself to town every week to get the shot, the Dr. asked me if I knew someone around home who could give it to me instead. My husband was so super eager to do it for me (I just wonder - is it the fact that we are saving gas money by this option, or the excitement of sticking me with a needle that has him grinning ear to ear? hmmm....) I also have the option of my wonderful MIL who is an RN who might be a little more trained, and a little less malicious. :)

So...this morning I had to call the local pharmacy to see if they carry the type of syringe and needle I need. I told them that I needed to buy a 3 cc syringe and a 20 gauge needle. The woman asked me to hold on while she checked their stock. A few minutes later the pharmacist got on the phone and he said "What in the world are you doing to yourself?" Ha! I told him that I was giving myself weekly progesterone injections. He told me to call and verify with the Dr. that I was told the right needle size, because the 20 gauge needle is the one he uses on his COWS. Yes, HIS COWS. He said it is a mega needle. A mega, mega, needle. I called to verify, and indeed this is the one I need to use due to the thickness of the medicine.

Now I am not a super squeamish needle hating kinda gal. I don't pass out at the sight of blood or get light headed by the feel of a needle poking through my skin, but the thought of being shot with a needle so thick that it has to be used to penetrate the hide of a cow...well, that had my stomach flipping a little bit. Now, I already had one shot given to me this past Tuesday. The nurse didn't tell me that she used it to inject her farm animals, so I was able to just grab the chair handle and let her plunge it on in. Well, now I'm just not so sure.

However, for the sake of this child....for the opportunity to carry this child all the way to term - with healthy, developed lungs, without any oxygen machines, NICU time, or kangaroo care (although that part wasn't soo bad) ;)...well I will do whatever it takes.

I would kiss a cow if that would do the trick.

Dramamine

Above photo taken by the talented photographer Lacey

Much more to come later on this incredible lady in my life. There is just too much to say and I struggle with how to get my thoughts out on here tonight.

I love you Grandma.

Changes

There has been so much happening in life lately, that whenever I sit down and think about writing a blog post it just seems so overwhelming and I don't even know where to start! So...I don't! I hate that it's been almost a month since I've last written and I do vow to get better at it...

So here are some updates from our neck of the woods:

• My boys turned 15 months old today. They are truly toddlers in every sense of the word and I am loving this stage. They are so interactive and engaged in finding out more about the world around them and how it ticks.
• Ethan is saying so many words now like "ball," "baby," "bye-bye," "dada," "mama,""down," "water,"
• Grayson says all the same words in addition to his new favorite "all done!"
• The boys are full time walkers and they're nearly running by now.
• They LOVE nap time. We call it "rolling the dough" and when I announce that it's time to roll the dough they drop all their toys and run back to their nursery giggling. I put them in their cribs, roll them around a little bit, and they just giggle and then go on to sleep! They have been sleeping pretty consistently from about 1-3:30 or 4 every day.
• Our routine at bed time is the same every night too. We've been doing this routine for quite awhile now, and I forget how it even started! At around 6:30 or a little after we get our pajamas on for the night. We clean up all of our toys and then we heat up two little cups of milk. Chris holds one boy and I hold another and they drink their little treat down in about 30 seconds! We get our little teeth brushed and Chris then holds both boys, one on each knee, and I read them their nightly story "Bedtime Peekaboo." Throughout the entire story the boys point out every baby, they roar like the tiger, and they snort like the pig. After their story we say our prayers and then we sing our nightly song. The song is called "The Evening Prayer" and it is a song that my Mom sang every night growing up. It is a beautiful song and one I loved growing up too. After our song is done we bring both boys back to the nursery, we all give our kisses, and off to bed they go. Typically the boys maybe cry out for about five seconds while we leave the room before they go off to bed for the night.
• They usually sleep from about 7 pm until about 7:30 am.

They are the sweetest boys and the joys of our lives. I look and them and I still can't believe that I am lucky enough to be called their mother!

Here are a few recent pictures of them. They are changing so fast!

Grayson before bed tonight

Ethan helping clean up his toys before bed

Ethan being silly (check out those curls!!)

Grayson

Grayson left and Ethan right

And So The Story Goes...

There is a lot going on in our lives here right now....and we are full.

Some of it is good amazing (like the news of this little boopshin that is going to enter our little rapidly growing family!

Some of it is also extremely emotional and tough though as we struggle through some health issues that we are dealing with in our extended family.

To top it all off I am in the first trimester, and while I am extremely blessed to not be spending it making some Q.T. with my toilet, I have been pretty tired and napping every day when the boys nap. That has been marvelous and a saver for my sanity, my sassiness, and my two little sweeties! It has not, however, been so marvelous for my blogging life! By the time bed time for the boys rolls around my little rapidly growing body is ready to sprawl out on the couch and do nothing besides stare at the wall or the back of my eyelids.

But oh...how I wouldn't have it any other way! I'm also believing that when that second trimester hits I just know that I am going to become Super Woman and regain all of my power that has been lost. I will want to scrub all my floors with a toothbrush, bring my boys to Walmart alone just before a snowstorm just because I can, cook my husband elaborate 7 course meals for dinner every single night, and yes...I will even want to shower on a regular basis! Oh how glorious it will be!!

I just realized that I have left so much unsaid about this new little pregnancy of ours! I started another blog on the side to keep track of the beginnings of this little life so that I wouldn't forget anything until we were ready to share the news. And so...here are some more details!

I am a little over 11 weeks along.

I am due September 9th (Same day as my dear friend Kristy's sweet little Maddie Moo was born!)

I found out by taking a pregnancy test one quiet Sunday afternoon while my little boys slept and my husband was totally engrossed in a football game. I just had a "feeling." That little line that indicates "PREGNANT" appeared SO fast that I thought maybe it was a mistake! I checked the box, checked the stick, checked the box, checked the stick....and saw it was indeed true! With shaking hands I approached my husband and told him the news. Actually I couldn't even speak. My shaking hands must have given it away, because my husband reacted much in the same way that he did when he found out about our twin pregnancy! He sat there...in his recliner...completely shocked and stunned. I guess it's just that moment where you really realize you "are" when you just have that whoa kind of moment. He wanted to come upstairs and look at the test with me just to believe it with his own eyes. As soon as he saw it our faces both just broke out in smiles and we began our planning, dreaming, and talking right away!

We are SO thrilled and so excited to have another little addition coming in to our family! A family of 5! From 2 to 5 in under 2 years will be pretty good eh? :)

A new blog is in the works. Something that is going to become more of a family blog, instead of a blog just dedicated to my two boys. Not that they are not worth an entire blog all to themselves (because heck - I'd dedicate a cable channel or an entire billboard to them if I could!) - but I am just ready for something new and fresh. Now when I say this blog is in the works...that does not mean that I am declaring an opening date here...because truthfully....and in total reality....it may not actually be ready to run until like um....let's say 2020. But I will let you know! :)

It's Been So Long Since I've Posted...

and this is the main reason why...

!!!