Loved

My Grandmother passed on to eternity yesterday morning.
She was 88 years old.
She was in the presence of her three daughters.
In her last moments of life her face was radiant. There was a smile that Mom said went above all earthly joy. She was looking beyond anything in the room and ahhhing over whatever it was she was seeing. She told my aunts and my Mom that she was seeing my Grandpa (her husband), her Mom, her Dad, and her sisters who had all gone before her. A few minutes later, she was gone.

Oh, words can't express how much she will be missed. How life doesn't seem like it can return to normal without her...

I still imagine that I will go home to visit her and see her in her kitchen window welcoming us to her house.

Following is a letter that I wrote to her last week. I struggle so much with the right words to try and describe this incredible lady in my life.

My Dearest Dramamine,

How often thoughts of you flood my mind. I hope you know that even though my life has pulled me far from you with the responsibilities of my life, my heart is so often there with you in that room. I wish I were closer to hold your hand, to read to you, to talk with you and brush your hair like everyone closer is having the opportunity to do.

At various moments it strikes me that this is really happening to you. To MY Grandma. It doesn't seem real, and sometimes the sadness of it is just too much. I can't imagine life without you...I don't want to imagine life without you. It hurts me to think about coming home and not having you there to go and visit. It was always something I looked so forward to on every trip home was to go and see my Dramamine.

You have always been such a huge, active part of my life. From the time when I was 8 and moved in to your home with you, you have been our closest neighbor, additional mother, babysitter, and friend.

When I think back on my lifetime with you, it is filled with thoughts of your guidance, your wisdom, and your insights on the way that things were going in my life and which were good in your eyes, and which could be changed (like when you asked me when in the world I was going to break up with that Jon boy!).

I love so many things about you.

I admire so many things about you.

You are a beautiful woman. A true definition of what a lady should be and how she should carry herself. You have taught me so many things about being a wife, being a mother, a daughter, a person. I have big shoes to fill when I think about trying to mold my life after the one that you have led and lived.

You will be leaving a beautiful legacy behind when it is your time to go.

You are leaving a family behind that adores you, cherishes you, loves you, and honors you. Just as you have deserved and earned!

You have done so amazingly good Grandma.

I am thankful beyond words for being blessed in such an amazing way by being born in to this family. A family that you and Grandpa nurtured, molded, and raised. You have done an amazing job. I know along the way there were certainly times where you had hardships, times where you may have questioned if you did the right thing, said the right thing, acted the right way...

But when I look at your six children. When I look at the way that they passionately love their mother. The way they flock to your bedside and care for you...I know that you have succeeded in mothering them. And it goes so much deeper than that. Every one of your children, and your grandchildren, and your great-grandchildren, have watched the example that you have led. The importance that your relationship with Jesus played in your life, and how He guided your every step along the way. You have lived your life in such a beautiful way, always showing the true heart of our Father.

It is easy for me to regret so many things when I think back on my years of living so close to you. How often I took for granted the fact that you lived just a few miles away. How often did I lay snoozing in bed while you were over for morning coffee, how often did I take for granted the sight of your blue car pulling up in our driveway and one of us announcing "Grandma's here!" How often did I take for granted pulling up in your driveway and seeing you there tending to your tulips, your green gardening shorts on and your gardening shoes with holes in the toes.

I am sorry Grandma for being young, for being selfish.

I hope that you have always known how much I loved and treasured you. I do. You mean so much to me and you always will.

My children will know about you. They will know about the life that you have led, they will know about the way that you carried and conducted yourself, they will know about all that you held of value and importance in your life. We will sing hymns that you sang, we will say prayers that you prayed, and they will be raised in such a way that would make you and Grandpa proud.

I love you sweet, sweet Dramamine.

Beth

My Grandpa sitting on the running board of his car on their honeymoon. June 1942.

The family around 1973 with my Great Grandpa and Great Grandma. Grandma is infront with the red and white stripe shirt. My Mom is on her right.


She has always been stunning.

Grandma and a friend on the front yard at Signora's place, mostlikely the summer of 1942, shortly after Grandpa and Grandma were married.