Keeping Up

There are many thoughts swirling in my head as I attempt to write this post - and I'm just not sure if they're going to come out exactly the way I want them too...but I will try.

As I have now become a mother an entire new world has opened before my eyes. The lovely part happens when my doors are closed, my time is with my boys, and the outside world is forgotten. There is also an "ugly" part that I have seen though too. A part of motherhood that has been difficult and stretching for me as I find my footing in this new role in my life.

The part called competition.

Maybe that's not the right word for it, because I don't always feel like it's a malicious competition...

Maybe I should just call it motherly passion!

Before pregnancy with the boys I had no idea, not a clue, about the way this motherhood and kid-raising-thing worked. I didn't know anything about bumbos, bottles, blankies, bedtime, and bouncy seats. I hadn't changed a diaper in over 10 years! Truthfully, I just didn't have to care!

But as you enter in to this new role an entire world is revealed to you. And so many topics begin to bombard your mind such as...

baby wearing

breast vs. bottle

sleep training

co-bedding

organic food

homemade food vs. store bought

disposable vs. cloth diapers

tv or no tv

stay at home or work

bedtimes

routines

vaccinations

The list goes on and on....

I guess it may come down sometimes to the Mama Bear syndrome too. We, as mothers, are protective creatures. Protective of our young, yet also protective of the choices that we make. It can be easy to take on the mindset that "my way is the right way" and scoff at others who choose to take a different path.

It can be such a hurtful cycle where a mother is judged based on what she feeds her children, how late (or how early) they go to bed, how much television they watch a day, whether or not they eat hot dogs and french fries or only tofu, if their little bums are diapered with cloth or diapered with disposables...I tell ya, the list can go on and on.

And, sadly, I must admit that I am not always excluded from this list of people who looks at mothers that I come across in Walmart or somewhere around town and I think "Goodness, I would never do _______ (fill in the blank).

I catch myself doing it often. I catch myself comparing my choices to the choices that my friends and family make. And it's easy to question my choices.

Am I doing enough?

Am I going to mess them up for life and send them to a shrink before they're 15? (Uh, yep...most likely).

I have learned that it is a constant learning process. I will admit FREELY that I do not have this entire mothering thing figured out! Ha! I mean heck, I've only been doing it for a little over 13 months and as soon as I have one thing figured out they switch it up on me!

I am always asking friends and family for advice and picking their brain about how they do things with their children now, or what they did when their children were younger.

Then I have to decide where I stand. What choices will we make for our children? How do we want to raise our children? It may not be the exact same way that Mother A, Mother B, or Mother C does it...but that doesn't mean that any of us are doing it better than the next. We just do what works for us!

I love my boys passionately. The choices that I make for them are made because I love them and I want to do what I think is best for them. Will I look back one day and think "Man, I really shoulda...."...probably.

My approach to parenting has already changed and morphed so much from when I was pregnant with them, to the infant stage, and now as toddlers. I know that my ideas, my views, my passions, and my beliefs will continue to change as time goes on.

And ya know what?

It's okay.

Because when I look at the mothers that surround me. Friends from work, friends from church, friends in the neighborhood, friends from college and high school, family members...they all have one thing in common. All of them. They LOVE their children. They intensely LOVE their children. No matter how differently we may do things, that underlying thread is always true. And when it all comes down to it - I think that's pretty stinkin' important.

Kudos to all you Mamas out there (even some of you crazies in Walmart)! :)