Those First Days - Part II

A couple of days after the boys were born I developed a fever. Because of this they told me that I was not able to go to the NICU for fear of passing anything on to any of the babies there. I had to be fever free for 24 hours before I would be allowed to see my boys again. I completely understood and knew it was best if I didn't go in - but oh. my. goodness. it was the longest 24 hours ever! Chris was able to come and go and it helped so much to know that they could at least have their Daddy with them. He had some amazing time with them those first few days while I was recovering. He would come back to the room with tears in his eyes telling me some of the things that they had done. I remember he came in at one point and told me that both of the boys had opened their eyes and looked right at him. He said it just went straight to his heart. He was one proud Papa.
The boys were in pretty rough shape those first few days. Their little bodies had gone through a lot of trauma and being born 6 weeks early didn't help them any! They were both born over 5 pounds each, so it was decieving sometimes to realize that they weren't completely healthy, full term boys.
Both boys were born with respiratory issues due to the immaturity of their lungs. The day they were born Ethan was placed on a CPAP machine and Grayson was placed on a ventilator. A CPAP machine is forced air, so Ethan was still breathing on his own. Grayson, however, had a machine that did the breathing for him for the first 24 hours of his life until he was strong enough to take over. In addition to the breathing machines Grayson was also born with pneumonia. We saw an x-ray of his chest and his entire chest cavity was clouded with it. They believe that he must have inhaled amniotic fluid at some point during the delivery process. They were not too concerned about it, but knew that it would mean a longer period of needing oxygen for him.
Ethan was born with a PDA. This is a condition where a valve that usually closes during birth did not close on Ethan. They told us that they were going to administer medication to him for three days. They hoped that this would close the valve. If it didn't work they would try a second round of the medication. If that didn't work they would have to send Ethan to UVA and have it surgically closed.
As you can imagine it was very stressful to not have just one little boy with medical issues, but two. We would look from one isolette to another. Ask a question about one of our sons, and then the other.
During those first days they encouraged a lot of kangaroo care. This was when they would place Ethan and Grayson skin on skin against our chests. They would wrap warm blankets around them and we would just hold them. We weren't supposed to caress them because too much touch could stimulate them and cause them to get worn out. I remember the first time I was able to hold one of them. The nurse, Terry, who we LOVED - asked me if I wanted to hold Grayson. My hands were trembling as she oh so carefully took him out of his bed along with all of his cords (oxygen, blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen rate, respiratatory rate, iv's, etc) and placed him gently on my chest. His little body. His warmth. I just held him and cried, overwhelmed with love, and the amazing feeling of finally holding my child.
We would usually time our visits during "hands on" time at the NICU. Every 3-4 hours the boys had allotted time when the nurses would handle them. They didn't want to mess with them too much in fear of stimulation. We would come in and scrub our hands for three minutes at the scrub sink first. We would then enter into the room where our boys lay. I would get so excited each and every day to lay my eyes on their little bodies again. Chris and I would then take the boys temperature under their armpit, change their diaper, and then sometimes hold the boys while their milk was put into the feeding tube. It wasn't until a couple of weeks after that the boys even tried to drink their milk from a bottle. They were just too tired!
We used to be amazed if the boys would ever open their eyes. Sometimes they would just lay in our arms and their little eyes would just open and look around. Oh, there was nothing like it.
I remember one day during that first week after I had returned back to my hospital room I unzipped the front of my sweatshirt to take it off. All of the sudden the smell of my boys hit me. I put my nose down into my shirt and I just breathed and cried, breathed and cried. All the way home that night back to New Market I just sat there with my nose in that sweatshirt - missing my babies and wanting them to be with me.