Emotional Fruit Loop

Yesterday was the last day of school for my students. They were dismissed at 1:00. I was close to tears a few times in the day, but the reality of this being my last group of kids for awhile didn't really seem to sink in.

Today, though, was a teacher work day. I spent the day sorting through cupboards, files, tubs, and drawers. Trying hard to determine what, of everything I had hoarded the past five years, was to be kept, discarded, or given away. I was doing fine - focused, on a mission, getting the job finished...until the new teacher...my replacement...came to meet with my team mates. :)

At that moment, when I saw her face, it hit me ... "This isn't my room anymore!" I just about lost it, broke down right there in front of this poor little college graduate....but I kept it together long enough for her to leave my room, and then I cried my way on down the hallway.

I pulled myself together and headed back to my room, just in time for my friend Irene to come in and ask if I needed anything. I told her that all I needed was a hug. Well that was all it took! The floodgates opened again! That has now been the story of my evening. I have been an emotional wreck!

My emotions are all over the board. I have been reliving all of the memories that were created in Room 803. The things I have learned, the friendships I've made, the laughs I have had, the children I taught, the frustrations, the lives I've helped to mold, the heart breaking sadness of some situations, the incredible experience of seeing a child "get it!" It has been an amazing ride. Truly, and without a doubt, where I was supposed to be these past five years. I have had an amazing team, made amazing friends, worked for amazing administration...and I will miss it.

But then I walked through the door this evening and I see two wide-eyed six month old boys looking up at me from their exersaucers. I see smiles from ear to ear and I hear the sound of their little voices trying to tell me all about their day. I see their little feet bouncing around with excitement about their Mommy walking in the door. I know, that for this time in my life, this is where I am supposed to be. This home is my classroom, these sons are my students. I look forward to the next many years before the boys start school. I think about all of the things that i want them to learn, the things I want them to experience, the things I want to do together. I am so thankful for this opportunity, but also so overwhelmed with the responsibility of becoming the primary caregiver for the lives of my children. I want to make each day, each moment, each minute count. I want to look back on that first day of kindergarden and feel proud of the job Chris and I did in raising and nurturing them to that point.

I pray for strength, for wisdom, for patience, and for guidance as this new chapter in our lives is opening. I never would have guessed a little over a year ago that I would be resigning from my job to stay home and care for my identical twin boys. You just never know how life is going to turn out.